This Blog Has Moved… Again.
Posted on | July 10, 2011 | No Comments
Really, it has moved. It’s not here. Pay no attention to those posts below this one. They’re not here, they’re there…
Nothing Left to Lose
Posted on | March 15, 2010 | No Comments
Where have I been, you may be asking. Or not. Regardless, we’ll get to all that later, hopefully on a new blog site as this hosting service is pretty lousy, but it will do for now. I recently completed a thru hike of the John Muir trail from Yosemite to the top of Mt. Whitney, the highest peak in the continental US. Officially the trail is 211 miles, although I did closer to 250 for a variety of reasons. The trip was incredible. And a life changer. Less my dear friends. Less is, indeed, More. For 18 days, I carried everything I needed or wanted on my back and loved every minute of it. I traveled as light as possible, 14 1/4 pounds not including food and water, and I didn’t miss a thing. Except maybe one of those mosquito net hats, but that’s not the point. The point of this run on paragraph is that the Trail. Is. Home.
I’m still wandering around the West, as I have been all summer, but a general plan is taking shape.
Part 1: Sell the house, sell the car, sell the kids, I’m never coming back. Ok, so that’s a slight exaggeration but it’s from a great movie so it’s all good. Beginning in the next 30-60 days, I will undertake a process of selling the vast majority of all the “things” I own. I know it’s been done before, but putting most everything you own on ebay should still prove an interesting experience. Why? Lots of reasons. One being that I realized I own at least five pair of $100+ sunglasses. One is fine, don’t you think? Too. Much. Stuff.
Part 2: Build the house. I’ve got ten amazing acres of land in the Sierras. After a couple of very nice and unexpected art gigs this year, I’ve got a few bucks in my pocket and I am going to build a nice eco-friendly, off the grid home on that property next spring once the snow melts.
Part 3: Just like Kaiser Sozze, I’m gone.
Now you’re caught up. Sort of. Other interesting tidbits include the big project I am doing for CNN and their 2010 election coverage. Can you guess what the artistic theme of all their promotional coverage is going to be? I’m hoping it turns into an on air interview on election night, but that’s pretty wishful thinking on my part. Actually, I was hoping they would have offered to pay me with Larry King’s job, but that wasn’t to be. Don’t think I didn’t ask, though. The check isn’t bad, however.
Life is good. And it’s getting better. Because once I unload all my useless crap, I’ll be that much more free. And that includes my house in LA. Bought at the top and selling at the bottom- real estate has never really been my thing. Getting out from under the mortgage, well that’s freedom my friends. If you’ve got a job you can’t leave because of your house payment and your car payment and your kid’s tuition and your alimony and your cable bill and your drinking habit and your credit card debt, guess what? You ain’t Free.
Kris Kristofferson may have said it best: “Freedom’s just another word for Nothing Left to Lose”. It doesn’t get any truer than that, kids. You could even go so far as to quote Kevin Bacon in Quicksilver: “Sign says ‘One Way East’, BAM, I go west” but only if you were into quoting really bad movies.
When you ain’t got nothin’, You got Nothin’ to Lose
Bobby Dylan knew what was up. And now finally, maybe I do, too.
Tags: aaron foster > eco friendly > green > John Muir Trail > Mt. Whitney > off the grid > ultralight backpacking
Smile, you Putz.
Posted on | January 27, 2010 | No Comments
So CNN posted the video/interview of me talking about my artwork today. So far, only one email about my hair and how I make it do whatever it is people think it does. But already quite a few emails about my work in general, price inquiries, can-you-make-such-and-such questions, etc. So that seems like a good thing.
As to the interview itself, what’s my problem? I didn’t even crack a smile the whole time! My smile is my allure, my cache, my twinkle! At least it could be if I ever put it out there. I’ll try harder. Other than that, it’s a very nice piece put together by some very nice folks out there at CNN and I am extremely grateful for the opportunity to make some large scale work for them and that they would also choose to further promote me and my art through publishing this video to their site. Take a look at me in my shop talking about license plates and a time lapse of the large map for CNN being made: CLICK HERE.
Finally, since this blog hosting service is not letting readers comment anymore, and I am fooling myself thinking anyone still actually reads my blog, I’m moving to a new site. I’ll start with a copy of this post as my first one at the new site, and all future posts can be found at: On A Pale Blue Dot Come on over and leave a comment. Or don’t.
My latest gig.
Posted on | January 19, 2010 | No Comments
If you’re following political news these days, although why you would want to do that is beyond me, you may have noticed two things: 1) This country is full of bat shit crazy people who seem capable of only voting against their own self interests, and 2) if you’re watching it all on CNN, you might have seen some of my artwork being used to promote their coverage of the upcoming mid term elections. Elections that will supposedly be a huge victory for Fear, Ignorance, and Xenophobia. Well, at least the art is cool.
I did three large scale pieces for the news network that will be featured extensively in their promotional material leading up to the 2010 elections. It’s probably the only way I could get even remotely involved in politics in this country without ending up in prison for the rest of my life. The pic above is the second of the three pieces and should start showing up on the network soon, if it hasn’t already. I tried to secure a barter system type deal with them- I do the artwork, you give me Larry King’s job. They weren’t having it. Apparently they preferred disgraced former NY governors and reality show judges as their new hosts. Probably wise decisions. Not sure any network would benefit from someone who leans further left than Olbermann and Maddow 90% of the time while still being willing to occasionally go the other way. Disclaimer: As the Republicans drift so far right any sane person can barely see them from the Middle, those occasions are getting pretty rare indeed. As far as I can tell there’s really only one True republican left in Congress and as much progress as he made in 2008, Ron Paul isn’t anyone’s Media Darling. Calm, Rational discussion just doesn’t sell cars the way the lunatic fringe of Palin, Bachmann, O’Donnell, et al, can. Because let’s face it, isn’t that what our nation’s news coverage is all about these days, selling cars? Or tennis shoes, or pharmaceuticals, or whatever worthless product their commercials are pitching us in between ranting and raving lunatics.
What? You think these Tea Party idiots make sense? Sorry, you lose. Actually, we all do if they get any sort of foothold in American politics. It’s nothing but a far right, far crazy, wing of the Republican party, funded by, guess who, the Republican Party to get middle America in a tizzy over so called big government and so called big taxes. But ultimately, it’s all a shell game. ”Look at this shiny thing over here while we line our pockets with gold, your streets with homeless, and your rivers, mountains, streams, oceans, lakes, with poison.” You’ve been conned Tea Partiers. The only problem is you’re too stupid to know it.
I’ll close with something I’ve been saying for a while now: Voting Republican in 2010 is like inviting the arsonist who torched your house to come back because the fire department isn’t putting the flames out fast enough.
Nobody does it like Bobby does it.
Posted on | December 21, 2009 | 1 Comment
Merry Christmas, Happy New Year and all that Jazz.
Missed it by that much…
Posted on | October 25, 2009 | 1 Comment
I wanted to be Atticus Finch. Turns out, I’m Boo Radley.
Better just try to enjoy the Ride.
Posted on | October 7, 2009 | 1 Comment
Farewell Los Angeles Show/Party
Posted on | August 26, 2009 | 3 Comments
So I am not long for this world. And by this world I mean Los Angeles. I think that is a fitting description, actually. Because LA is like no other place I’ve ever been, it is a world unto itself. But I’ll get into that later. Right now, I am announcing that on 9/09/09 I will be doing a special night of comedy at the Comedy Store on Sunset Blvd. Starting at 8pm, some of my best friends and favorite comics and I will be doing a *****FREE SHOW*****. Anyone who is on my list ahead of time will get in for free. I and a few friends will be doing long sets and celebrating my time in LA before I move to Northern California to being what is sure to be a nice long period of decompression and re-education after 5+ years in LA.
If you’d like to be on the guest list, email me your name and the names of anyone coming with you to: info@aaronfoster.com
I would love to see as many people there as possible to make it a memorable final evening in Los Angeles. I hope you will make it!
The Joys of Airport Security
Posted on | August 11, 2009 | 3 Comments
I just went through airport security at LAX and I can say definitively and without question that this country is out of its damned mind. Why? Let’s take a look, shall we?
1. If you’re gonna pull people out of line and move them to the front because their departure is coming up and they won’t make it otherwise, why bother having a line at all? Just have people line up by departure time and be done with it. Why not print on the back of my ticket: “Plan to arrive at the airport at least one hour before your departure. Unless you don’t want to, in which case we’ll just let you have Cutsies in front of everyone who did get there early enough to make their flights.”
2. Really? The flip flops? Through the big machine? Why? Because some idiot once thought he was going to take down a 747 by lighting his shoes on fire? These are Flip. Flops. GAFB.
3. Yes, I know, I forgot to take my laptop out of the bag. I apologize. It’s 5am and I’ve been standing here watching morons do the jobs of monkeys for 30 minutes. I forgot. Why don’t you react as if I just killed your grandmother’s dog. And your grandmother. And then told you that I think your job is utterly meaningless? But before you do that, can I ask a question? Why can the machine see through my laptop but not my olive green Patagonia soft shell brief case type thing? Because that doesn’t make any Effing sense at all.
4. The following was said to someone who forgot to take a DVD player out and put it in its own bin, as the representative from the Department of Homeland Security (WTF?) began to dig through her bag: “Do you have anything sharp in here that might stab or cut me as I look through it?” Well, it did just go through an xray machine that is designed to find sharp objects that might stab or cut you so shouldn’t you, like, kind of know that already?
5. Do you have any liquids over 3 oz? Um, my bag just went thru the machine … You’re asking me what’s in it… Doesn’t that mean the machine doesn’t work? And, if I do have liquids and I say no, how are you going to know at this point? So, no. I don’t have any liquids.
6. My ID? Yeah, I have it. Unless of course I left it with one of the last four people to ask me, that is. But even if I did, no worries, because they’re all within earshot so it shouldn’t be a problem. Hell, forget earshot, they’re all within reach. (By the way, do you know what happens if you try to fly without your ID? No, not end of the world type stuff. No dogs and cats living together. No mass hysteria. They send you to the “Extra Screening” line, which is very short, and they look through your bag and wave a black stick in front of your body. But they don’t make you take off your flip flops. Which is why I never fly with ID.)
7. It’s a license plate. Deal with it. I know you probably don’t see them in this environment that often, but it’s still just a license plate. Or maybe even a bunch of them. I really don’ t think you need to call your supervisor over to ask her what to do with it. You do? Ok , fine. Let’s all stand around looking at the scary license plate and poke it with sticks to see if it has aggressive tendencies.
8. Hey guys? TSA peeps? I’m not saying you should be more vigilante at certain airports, but when I fly out of JFK, it doesn’t calm my nerves a lot to reach into my carry on bag half way through the flight and find a god damned box cutter I had forgotten about. Know what I mean? And yes, that was the flight I didn’t have my ID for.
9. Why does the captain have to go through this at all? It’s nice he gets to go to the front and everything, I have no problem with that, but don’t you think that if he wanted to bring the plane down, he probably isn’t going to need four and a half ounces of shampoo and a Zippo to do it? Or is that just me?
10. This has nothing to do with airport security, but since the list got to nine, I felt like I should do ten to round it off. You know, because ten is easier. It’s called the metric system folks, look into it. Unless of course you’re from Liberia or Burma (http://www.metric4us.com/)
And sure, you may know it as Myan Mar, but it will always be Burma to me. Those are the only other countries besides the USA that don’t use the metric system. What a bunch of assholes we are. But I digress. Bacak to the airport. Folks, when you’re at the baggage carousel waiting for your baggage after your flight (side note: carry on baggage should be illegal, or at the very least, an extra charge. Checked bags, free, carryons $50 each, but that’s a whole other thing) What was I saying? Oh yeah, when you’re at the baggage carousel: STAND THE FUCK BACK. Being right up against the edge doesn’t make your bag come any quicker, all it does is make the four of us still capable of rational thought not be able to see our bags through you. And when we do have to step in front of you to get ours we could do without that look. You know the one: “I got here first, wtf are you doing?” I’m getting my bag A-hole, what are you doing? And to the genius that stands immediately to the left of the baggage chute and plans to just lean over a little to grab his when we all know damn well the carousel rotates to the right? Swine flu. And anyone to the left of that person who thinks they’re gonna just lean over a little bit further for theirs? Botulism. You ever see a man die of botulism? There should be a painted yellow line on the ground in a six foot perimeter around the carousel across which: You Shall Not Pass. And if you cross that line and don’t come back with your bag, we’re gonna find your luggage and put it back on a plane and send it back from whence you came. Back to the Shadow, as Gandalf might say.
Damn, I kinda lost it on that last one didn’t I? I think I could do eleven of these. Or one hundred eleven. I hate flying.
If you just came here from Woman’s Day Magazine…
Posted on | August 6, 2009 | No Comments
Woman’s Day Magazine just posted a great story on their website about 10 different and unique artistic versions of US Maps. Two of my works were included. The link from that site was to my blog here, but should have been to my main site with my artwork, here: www.aaronfoster.com
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