Vegas cabbies: The new Douchebags.
Posted on | February 10, 2009 |
What is it with these guys? Â Last time I was here, August or September I think, I took a taxi a coupla miles from my hotel on the Strip to Fry’s electronics to pick up an extension cord I needed for my booth at the last minute. Â I asked the driver to wait while I ran in to get one thing. Â He made a whiny sound like a six year old girl might make if you took her doll away and asked how long I would be. Â Dude, 5 minutes, max. Â And I’m a good tipper. Â Ok, ok I’ll wait. Â But you pay for this ride first. Â Yeah, thanks a lot jackass. Â I knew he wouldn’t be there when I came out. Â And he wasn’t. Â Jagoff made me walk the two miles back to the show. Â Which I would’ve been happy to do except that I was under a time crunch to get to the show start. Â Fucking savage.
Fast forward several months to tonight. Â I was supposed to spend it in my room at the Trump working on comedy ideas for my stand up comedy class. Â but I decided to get one, just one drink at the bar, before settling in for the night. Â Which is where I met a coupla cougars and saved them from two admirers who were far from admirable themselves by agreeing to go to dinner with them at the Wynn. Â The two other gents were non pleased with me for walking out with the two ladies they’d been accosting for an hour at the bar after five minutes of chatter, but hey, don’t hate the playa, hate the game. Â We got to the Wynn, wandered about for a bit, and finally settled on some lousy wannabe chinese place inside that had way too long of a wait for its own good. Â But it was just long enough for my good. Â Because sitting there waiting, I came to my senses, got my shit together, realized I should be writing comedy and not dining with these ladies, and made my escape. Â Poorly and without class, but I made my escape nonetheless. Â
The funny thing is, on the way back to my room at the Trump, I got sidetracked to the Encore and the blackjack tables therein. Â I quickly went up a thousand. Â then back to even and got up to walk out in disgust. Â But then I sat down at another table and worked my way back up. Â Long story short, I walked out with a 1k more than I went in with. Â Jumped in a taxi to get back to the Trump. Â Now, bear with me here: Â The trump is very close to the Encore. Â And on any other night I would have been more than happy to walk. Â 8 or 10 blocks, no biggie, right? Â But it was butt ass cold, windy, and late. Â and I was tired. Â so I get in, tell him the Trump and we start to roll. Â He quickly says, “it will be $10 to the trump”. Â Well then stop the fucking car, asshole. Â It’s a four dollar ride at best. Â The funny thing is that I would have paid him ten for the ride knowing that it’s kind of a shit sandwich to get such a short fare. Â but not if he’s gonna be a dick about it. Â I said no thanks and he stopped the car. Â I then suggested that he do something physically impossible to himself as I got out. Â It deteriorated from there. Â I don’t take shit from douchebags like that. Â That’s just how I roll. Â
I do feel guilty for not working on my stand up though.